I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
