Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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