I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I cockslap morals
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
