I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
