stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
