Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
someone owes me an orgasm
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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