This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
