Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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