Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize