i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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