dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
