I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
