As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
