Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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