I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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