after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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