there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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