Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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