So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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