just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
