walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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