My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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