Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
