2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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