Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
