umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
