okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
