Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Porn is love you can see.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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