one might say we're banned from that church
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I want to fling myself into the sun
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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