just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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