dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
