Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
