The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
