I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
