Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I FOUND THE LEGS
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