i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
