dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
