Can i not drive my cunt home
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
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You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
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All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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