At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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