he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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