The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Sober January is a disaster.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
