please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
