...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
