So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
there's paper in my vomit.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
