So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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