their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
