she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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