I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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