I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
