yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
