He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I need to calm my uterus...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
