he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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