I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
