saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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