He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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