My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
