You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
