my soul wont recognize me after tonight
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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