i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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