at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
