I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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