I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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