She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
