I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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