This is not my ceiling
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
