Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  He's been sleeping iwht ***

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Nooo

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb

  (816): View more from Missouri

  And then hit her in the face with a shovel

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  (816): He's been sleeping iwht *** (1-816): Nooo (816): Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb (816): And then hit her in the face with a shovel http://tfl.nu/a1q0
  Replies (3) Good night (1098) Bad night (1967)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  ..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.

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  (248): ..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe. http://tfl.nu/gys8
  Replies (10) Good night (3100) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up

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  (715): STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up http://tfl.nu/m2d3
  Replies (78) Good night (1178) Bad night (5001)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me

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  (405): Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me http://tfl.nu/44om
  Replies (19) Good night (5237) Bad night (1738)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about

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  (218): Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about http://tfl.nu/idfh
  Replies (23) Good night (1404) Bad night (6242)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet

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  (207): I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet http://tfl.nu/5wz6
  Replies (12) Good night (9128) Bad night (1170)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I want to be you.

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  (541): Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!! (306): I want to be you. http://tfl.nu/x9vb
  Replies (14) Good night (1643) Bad night (1202)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette

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  (215): fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette http://tfl.nu/iod4
  Replies (6) Good night (1200) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.

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  (206): I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling. http://tfl.nu/5feo
  Replies (6) Good night (1226) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool

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  (919): Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool http://tfl.nu/1a3e
  Replies (1) Good night (840) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.

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  (631): if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story. http://tfl.nu/uwah
  Replies (2) Good night (514) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"

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  (850): It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!" http://tfl.nu/ndge
  Replies (6) Good night (390) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.

  (310): View more from California

  But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.

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  (310): Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird. (310): But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better. http://tfl.nu/lfnf
  Replies (1) Good night (568) Bad night (239)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.

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  (805): I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you. http://tfl.nu/8wct
  Replies (1) Good night (362) Bad night (192)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?

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  (610): How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach? http://tfl.nu/gw61
  Replies (3) Good night (89) Bad night (195)

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