Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.

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  (317): The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope. http://tfl.nu/lawp
  Replies (25) Good night (5443) Bad night (1293)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.

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  (317): The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints. http://tfl.nu/xoq4
  Replies (6) Good night (1042) Bad night (4848)
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  (707): View more from California

  She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.

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  (707): She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her. http://tfl.nu/yn7x
  Replies (15) Good night (5175) Bad night (1873)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.

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  (781): I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together. http://tfl.nu/rbls
  Replies (4) Good night (3929) Bad night (943)
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  (718): View more from New York

  you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.

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  (718): you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke. http://tfl.nu/vku6
  Replies (13) Good night (3042) Bad night (1280)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.

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  (704): Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time. http://tfl.nu/8mlt
  Replies (6) Good night (3154) Bad night (1268)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.

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  (843): The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year. http://tfl.nu/r78b
  Replies (6) Good night (1607) Bad night (679)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.

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  (214): look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT. http://tfl.nu/esfv
  Replies (4) Good night (2826) Bad night (732)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.

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  (919): then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building. http://tfl.nu/wz5k
  Replies (6) Good night (1543) Bad night (610)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.

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  (715): Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day. http://tfl.nu/c6jk
  Replies (11) Good night (2129) Bad night (684)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters

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  (918): please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters http://tfl.nu/gu1l
  Replies (8) Good night (1776) Bad night (772)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!

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  (970): Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!! http://tfl.nu/2nfr
  Replies (1) Good night (1039) Bad night (596)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?

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  (920): there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room? http://tfl.nu/s38b
  Replies (8) Good night (671) Bad night (1383)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.

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  (512): You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits. http://tfl.nu/ddql
  Replies (6) Good night (1588) Bad night (710)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey

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  (787): I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey http://tfl.nu/3kl5
  Replies (5) Good night (610) Bad night (681)

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