Texts From Last Night

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  (972): View more from Texas

  it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles

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  (972): it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles http://tfl.nu/ysqd
  Replies (26) Good night (1135) Bad night (5172)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.

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  (630): I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti. http://tfl.nu/166m
  Replies (21) Good night (1204) Bad night (6659)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"

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  (208): this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin" http://tfl.nu/odvv
  Replies (16) Good night (7791) Bad night (1011)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers

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  (606): All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers http://tfl.nu/uhar
  Replies (14) Good night (3771) Bad night (1231)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire

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  (419): On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire http://tfl.nu/uiq5
  Replies (4) Good night (1217) Bad night (1097)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Don't text me with that hand

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  (410): SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR (610): Don't text me with that hand http://tfl.nu/c1bj
  Replies (16) Good night (3471) Bad night (685)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave

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  (973): Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave http://tfl.nu/h612
  Replies (16) Good night (1602) Bad night (572)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.

  (1-863): View more from Florida

  You're a fucking train wreck.

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  (863): So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal. (1-863): You're a fucking train wreck. http://tfl.nu/4qd3
  Replies (3) Good night (1566) Bad night (609)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes

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  (386): I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes http://tfl.nu/04pj
  Replies (4) Good night (1077) Bad night (898)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on

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  (360): first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on http://tfl.nu/2woc
  Replies (6) Good night (816) Bad night (362)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?

  (1-585): View more from New York

  Or possibly end in a restraining order?

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  (585): Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy? (1-585): Or possibly end in a restraining order? http://tfl.nu/8n7h
  Replies (8) Good night (604) Bad night (250)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home

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  (412): i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home http://tfl.nu/8rrw
  Replies (6) Good night (348) Bad night (313)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left

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  (864): That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left http://tfl.nu/rl6q
  Replies (7) Good night (1122) Bad night (363)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.

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  (203): If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that. http://tfl.nu/gaz3
  Replies (1) Good night (595) Bad night (227)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac

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  (443): yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac http://tfl.nu/yca7
  Replies (1) Good night (270) Bad night (655)

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