Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.